Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
