oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
