I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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