Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
