I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
