508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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