I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
