Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
