covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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