Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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