Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
