Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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