uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
