Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
