i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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