I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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