Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
