This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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