I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
