the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
