over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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