I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
