I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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