God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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