return my video game
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Congratulations! We have a period
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