So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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