it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
