We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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