i just had sex bonerless
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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