Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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