what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
