You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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