I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You ruined the universe
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize