tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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