sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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