Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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