Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
