So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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