is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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