so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
People with herpes should wear stickers.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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