She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
