He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
