If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
