Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
