Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Randomize
