i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
