Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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