Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
