I will die if light touches me.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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