HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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