Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
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