Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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