Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
