WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize