I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
handjob tips. give me some.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
