That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
