Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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