I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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