Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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