Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
