It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
