Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
